Dog’s Diary v. Cat’s Diary
I found this funny post online and tried to copy it to post here, but it wouldn’t let me copy! Darn copyright laws! So, I decided to create my own using a day in the life of Gigi and Trip. Dogs view v. Cats view…
Excerpts from Gigi’s Diary:
7:00 am: Time to wake up! Yay! Best thing ever!
8:00 am: Rang my bell to go outside and potty! Yay! Best thing ever!
9:00 am: Dog food! Yay! Best thing ever!
10:00 am: Chased Trip around the house! Yay! Best thing ever!
11:00 am: Ride in the car with the top down! Yay! Best thing ever!
1:00 pm: Mom threw angry bird toy for me! Yay! Best thing ever!
3:00 pm: Took a nap! Yay! Best thing ever!
4:00 pm: Volunteered at the hospital! Yay! Best thing ever!
5:30 pm: In mom’s handbag while shopping! Yay! Best thing ever!
6:00 pm: Hung out with lots of people at home! Yay! Best thing ever!
8:45 pm: Played tug-a-war with dad’s sock! Yay! Best thing ever!
9:00 pm: Scooby snacks! Yay! Best thing ever!
10:00 pm: Bedtime in my room with the snake! Yay! Best thing ever!
Today was the best day EVER!
Excerpts from Trip’s Diary:
6:00 am: Day 1,937 of my captivity.
6:30 am: Had to wake up the captors to get hard, bland nuggets to eat. I only eat it to survive.
7:00 am: I lay in the captors’ closet as they dress, hoping to throw up the hard, bland nuggets on their shoes so they’ll release me from captivity.
8:00 am: There’s a little hairy prisoner here with me. She’s called dog. She gets special privileges that the captors don’t give me. She rings a bell, the captors come running and she gets released to the outdoors. I attempt to dart out the door but the captor stops me with her foot and slams the door with me inside. Then dog comes back in. Is she retarded? Really? She comes back in?
10:00 am: Dog chased me around for no reason. I’m convinced she is retarded.
10:30 am: I rang the bell. The captors ran into the room. They see it’s me, turn up their nose and walk away. Snobs! I will never be released to the outdoors.
11:00 am: I retreat to my cell where I am neglected and ignored. The captors seem to have forgotten I’m here.
4:00 pm: Time is moving slow. I pee on the furniture in desperation to be executed or released. I don’t care what anymore.
6:00 pm: I am carried by one of my captors to solitary confinement. My captors seem to be having some sort of summit meeting. Perhaps discussing my fate. I smell food. Fresh meat and other delicacies that the captors devour while I nibble on my hard, bland nuggets.
8:45 pm: I am released from solitary confinement. Dog is pulling on a sock. One of the captors is exhibiting strange behavior by dangling something on a string in front of my face. Perhaps this is part of the master plan of my demise.
9:00 pm: I am fed a few hard, bland nuggets, again. Dog is jumping all over acting as if this is some special celebration. Dog is retarded.
10:00 pm: My captor returns me to solitary confinement, pries my mouth open and shoves a poisonous drug down my throat. I’ve heard the captor refer to it as Prozac. The captor is slowly killing me.
Worst day EVER!