Tomorrow is Surgery Day

To say that I’m terrified would be an understatement.  Even thinking about the surgery makes my hands clammy and sweaty.  Yesterday I felt like I was having panic attacks; well, actually I think I was.  

I’ve had a lot of surgeries, but nothing as major as this one.  I should stay off the internet, but instead am googling all the horror stories about back fusions.  There are positive posts as well, but the negative ones are all I can think about right now.  


I went to the hospital on Monday and had my lab work done.  Confirmed with my insurance company that everything has been pre-approved.  I have to check-in at the hospital tomorrow morning at 8:00.  Ray will be working because he had a mediation scheduled for the day long before my surgery was scheduled, so my BFF Maureen is taking me to the hospital.  When I’m discharged (4 or 5 days after surgery), my RN daughter Chantel is going to stay with us and help me out.  So nice to have a nurse in the family who is willing to come hang with me!  It will be fun to spend some time together.  


The pain in my back is getting increasingly worse as is the numbness in my foot and pain down my leg.  I’m nothing but a lump on a log.  Just sit around all the time There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?  Maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my life on this couch.  


Is it too late to back out?

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